Wednesday, January 31, 2007

If I were a USS Board Member...

If I were a member of the USSPEEDSKATING Board of Directors, I would make it my goal to raise funds for my own nonprofit organization, just as Boards of other nonprofit organizations do. I would set as my goal the amount of money it would take to:

1. Provide each World Cup competitor in both Short Track and Long Track speedskating a living stipend of $1000 a month, and

2. Raise enough money to send a team of Junior B and C skaters to the Viking Race in Holland each year.


If I were one of those Board members who had an Olympic medal or two to my name, I would use my name and my influence to help the organization raise these funds. In fact, If I failed to do this, then I would no longer consider myself worthy of using my position on the Board in order to perpetuate my own past glory. Come on! Even the figure skating federation, which makes a lot of money selling TV rights to their events, holds fund raisers to send their developmental athletes overseas for competitions. I've NEVER seen the USS Board put together ANY KIND of fund raiser for their teams, and all they ever do is bitch and moan about not having any sponsors -- not to mention complaining about all the people like me who are "destroying the image of the sport" and preventing them from getting sponsors!

If I were a former Olympic medalist who was on the USS Board, I would realize that the REASON WHY hometowns no longer hold bake sales for their Olympic hopefuls is due to the perception that America's amateur athletes are "all set;" a perception that is promoted every time one of those athletes appears in public wearing the logo of a very large and successful company (while getting next to nothing for it), or every time some article appears in the newspapers about the latest high-tech sports science technology (which is either not available to all athletes or is used by coaches who don't know how to take full advantage of it).

I would also realize that if I promote the attitude that "If we support our athletes, then they'll only go out and buy video games and stereo systems," then THE ONLY ATHLETES WE'LL HAVE LEFT ARE THE ONES WHOSE MOMMIES AND DADDIES ARE WILLING TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING. And that is exactly what will happen when all your self-supported talent burns out and fades away.

I would realize that I am not put into that position of authority only to create and enforce rules, but also to do my best to help the athletes succeed...

...And then I wake up and come to the conclusion that this sport does not belong to people like me.

It's been a year now; my fact-finding mission at the Utah Olympic Oval is over. For the first time this morning, I woke up more than happy to come in to the lab and go to work, surrounded by people who are truly ethical and competent. And as I spread E. coli on 100 Petri dishes, I listened to a few of my favorite songs from the Offspring's Ixnay on the Hombre, and contemplated my experiences in the most un-American organization I've ever had the misfortune of dealing with...

"Nothing changes, 'cause it's all the same
The world you get's the one you give away.
It all just happens again way down the line
."

(Derek Parra, you're just another Andy Gabel.)


"Now when the day is set they'll line up all the same,
And those that need the most will never get or gain.
The ones you call your friends
Are failing you again.
Reach into your bag of tricks and make it go away...

You're in it for yourself, no one else.
You're ready, saving yourself,
You're going to change the world

And since you ain't what you say,
Then just go away
."