Can't Get My Head Around Tom
Since I've been accused of only posting the negative, I've decided to write about some positive things that come to mind about people I have criticized. Tom Cushman was my coach the year I trained with the USS Allround program, and he was the one who, at the end of that season, admitted to using half our team for the purpose of collecting overtraining data. There are definitely some positive sides to Tom, but they seem to have made things more confusing.
Tom has always been a puzzle to me, because I never believed that he had any bad intentions towards me. I never held the Cushman name against him, despite what his father had done to my skating career years ago. Tom had been nice to me ever since I came back to the sport, when he led some workouts for the Oval Program in early 2001.
When I think about how I decided to train with the National Team in 2003, and what happened as a result, things just don't add up. If Tom believed in my potential as a speedskater, why was he content to use me for the purpose of data collection, rather than helping me to skate faster? On the other hand, if he didn't believe in my potential as a speedskater, why did he actively try to recruit me for his team, both during the 2003 winter world cups, and in the spring, when I hadn't yet decided on a team?
Late in the summer of 2003, when I was feeling the effects of overtraining and could barely push myself to make it through another session, there were a couple of days when I tearfully announced to Tom that I was quitting speedskating. There seemed to be no point in continuing on in a sport when I felt I was unable to progress or even to survive. Real life was calling my name; I was making good money in the lab. Why did Tom convince me to stay? What was the goal of trying to get me to stick around? If he didn't think I could be a good skater, why didn't he just tell me to stop wasting my time?
People who don't seem to know what their objective is can be even more scary than those who are outright trying to destroy you, because they're the ones who catch you off guard. Even though I try, I can't get my head around Tom.
Since I've been accused of only posting the negative, I've decided to write about some positive things that come to mind about people I have criticized. Tom Cushman was my coach the year I trained with the USS Allround program, and he was the one who, at the end of that season, admitted to using half our team for the purpose of collecting overtraining data. There are definitely some positive sides to Tom, but they seem to have made things more confusing.
Tom has always been a puzzle to me, because I never believed that he had any bad intentions towards me. I never held the Cushman name against him, despite what his father had done to my skating career years ago. Tom had been nice to me ever since I came back to the sport, when he led some workouts for the Oval Program in early 2001.
When I think about how I decided to train with the National Team in 2003, and what happened as a result, things just don't add up. If Tom believed in my potential as a speedskater, why was he content to use me for the purpose of data collection, rather than helping me to skate faster? On the other hand, if he didn't believe in my potential as a speedskater, why did he actively try to recruit me for his team, both during the 2003 winter world cups, and in the spring, when I hadn't yet decided on a team?
Late in the summer of 2003, when I was feeling the effects of overtraining and could barely push myself to make it through another session, there were a couple of days when I tearfully announced to Tom that I was quitting speedskating. There seemed to be no point in continuing on in a sport when I felt I was unable to progress or even to survive. Real life was calling my name; I was making good money in the lab. Why did Tom convince me to stay? What was the goal of trying to get me to stick around? If he didn't think I could be a good skater, why didn't he just tell me to stop wasting my time?
People who don't seem to know what their objective is can be even more scary than those who are outright trying to destroy you, because they're the ones who catch you off guard. Even though I try, I can't get my head around Tom.
posted by Eva at 6:35 PM
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