A Cost-Benefit Analysis of Continuing to Post on The Protocol:
I've mentioned that my posting about speedskating politics has been interfering with my ability to concentrate on my work, and that has made me think about whether it's worth it to me to continue. The lab where I'm working is gathering data to publish a paper within a few months, and my project is a major part of this research. So, it seems to me that I can either concentrate on having my name on my first published scientific paper, or I can continue to be the Judas goat for this sport that frustrated the years of my youth.
My friends say I'm a fighter and love a challenge, but because of the way I'd been mistreated by USSPEEDSKATING over the years, trying to speedskate for the USA was not really just a "race against myself."
A race against myself is more like my experience running the marathon last weekend, where the 3:30 pace guy from the Clif Bar Pace Team passed me just after Mile 20, and I told myself that I wouldn't let him out of my sight, no matter how badly my legs were hurting. Fighting the speedskating politics battle, on the other hand, is like sticking both hands into a rotting corpse and smooshing things around: It smells bad, it makes you queasy, and there comes a point where you wonder why you're even doing it.
It's bad enough that the environment at the Utah Olympic Oval has been irreparably damaged for me, and that people there snicker about me behind my back for laying my anger out for all to see. It doesn't matter that I was the first one to tear into a corrupt organization that eventually collapsed. I will always be known as "The Notorious."
Right now, there is nothing for me to gain by continuing to grind the axe. After all, the people who, I believe, were leading USSPEEDSKATING down the wrong path, have all been fired or have resigned. The National Team coach who burned out more athletes than he helped; who admitted to trashing half his team for the purpose of data collection on overtraining; who ruined the Olympic medal chances of Jen Rodriguez; has been fired. The Executive Director, who, I believe, was responsible for setting up the unfriendly and elitist "country club atmosphere" of the sport, has resigned. And the Program Director, Mike Crowe, whose lack of leadership led directly to several specific instances of failure at the 2006 Olympics (covered in an earlier post) and whose favoritism towards one woman on the team clouded his ability to make decisions, was fired.
At the time of this post, the new leaders of USSPEEDSKATING have not come out and informed us in any way of the direction in which they plan to take the federation. We literally have no way of knowing if ANYTHING but the names and the faces of the players has changed at the top. And, although it is possible that my continuing to post my views on The Protocol might help the new administration stay on track, this fight is no longer worth it to me in terms of the disruption to my life.
I've mentioned that my posting about speedskating politics has been interfering with my ability to concentrate on my work, and that has made me think about whether it's worth it to me to continue. The lab where I'm working is gathering data to publish a paper within a few months, and my project is a major part of this research. So, it seems to me that I can either concentrate on having my name on my first published scientific paper, or I can continue to be the Judas goat for this sport that frustrated the years of my youth.
My friends say I'm a fighter and love a challenge, but because of the way I'd been mistreated by USSPEEDSKATING over the years, trying to speedskate for the USA was not really just a "race against myself."
A race against myself is more like my experience running the marathon last weekend, where the 3:30 pace guy from the Clif Bar Pace Team passed me just after Mile 20, and I told myself that I wouldn't let him out of my sight, no matter how badly my legs were hurting. Fighting the speedskating politics battle, on the other hand, is like sticking both hands into a rotting corpse and smooshing things around: It smells bad, it makes you queasy, and there comes a point where you wonder why you're even doing it.
It's bad enough that the environment at the Utah Olympic Oval has been irreparably damaged for me, and that people there snicker about me behind my back for laying my anger out for all to see. It doesn't matter that I was the first one to tear into a corrupt organization that eventually collapsed. I will always be known as "The Notorious."
Right now, there is nothing for me to gain by continuing to grind the axe. After all, the people who, I believe, were leading USSPEEDSKATING down the wrong path, have all been fired or have resigned. The National Team coach who burned out more athletes than he helped; who admitted to trashing half his team for the purpose of data collection on overtraining; who ruined the Olympic medal chances of Jen Rodriguez; has been fired. The Executive Director, who, I believe, was responsible for setting up the unfriendly and elitist "country club atmosphere" of the sport, has resigned. And the Program Director, Mike Crowe, whose lack of leadership led directly to several specific instances of failure at the 2006 Olympics (covered in an earlier post) and whose favoritism towards one woman on the team clouded his ability to make decisions, was fired.
At the time of this post, the new leaders of USSPEEDSKATING have not come out and informed us in any way of the direction in which they plan to take the federation. We literally have no way of knowing if ANYTHING but the names and the faces of the players has changed at the top. And, although it is possible that my continuing to post my views on The Protocol might help the new administration stay on track, this fight is no longer worth it to me in terms of the disruption to my life.
posted by Eva at 6:17 AM
<< Home