Thursday, February 01, 2007

Inertia: Why USSPEEDSKATING is unlikely to change

"When you first started speedskating and we received our first few issues of The Racing Blade, I noticed that more than half of the photos in it were of old men shaking hands at some Hall of Fame banquet. It was then that I realized what kind of society my child would be entering."

Even if it had been possible for my mother to explain sports politics to me when I was eleven years old, she wouldn't have been able to convince me that it would matter, and why I wouldn't be able to overcome it simply by focusing on racing against the clock.

My family have always been the type of people who would rather go the long way than to step on other peoples' toes; who'd hope that honest hard work and achievement would speak for themselves. But though my parents were the kind of people who would prefer to avoid entirely the type of organization that is run by illogical thugs-- seeing it as an immovable hazard rather than something that could be changed -- I had always seen my fight with USSPEEDSKATING as an opportunity to make the world a better place.

From what I've observed in the past year since my retirement from competitive speedskating, I do not believe that this organization has the potential to change. What is it that I want most for myself right now? I want to wake up in the morning without feeling the gnawing obsession to shape my words into the weapon that will do the most possible damage to my enemies. After all, why continue to endure a state of toxicity, with no hope of reform?

These are the reasons why I think USSPEEDSKATING will not change:

1. The satisfaction of most of the current National-level skaters is somewhat unsettling. Most don't seem to care how much the Norwegian team earns, for example, and aren't concerned with state-sponsored "shamateurism," where athletes from other countries are supposedly "soldiers," or "students," but in reality are paid to train full-time. For many American skaters, all they know is that "Mom and Dad are totally stoked that I'm on the National Team and I won't have to be looking for a job any time soon."

That kind of attitude just makes me wonder who it is that I'm fighting for, and almost makes me embarrassed to care.

2. The athletes who are smart enough to be dissatisfied, while being strong and talented enough to be champions AND have the financial means to support their speedskating careers WILL make it, if they find a way to work around USSPEEDSKATING. And when they do become champions, USSPEEDSKATING will take all the credit.

3. USSPEEDSKATING continues to attract like-minded people to employ (for example, former athletes who were once screwed over by the federation, who have sold out and are now willing to screw the next generation). At the same time, USS continues to repel intelligent, logical, and ethical individuals who would have something of value to offer.

4. The lack of oversight from the U.S.O.C. and incomplete investigations of unfairness by even higher authorities are just another sad commentary on American society; it makes me see that "ethics has left the conversation entirely," and that there seems to be no higher authority that will make corrupt organizations shape up.

5. The dynamics of the forces of power, money, and old attitudes in USSPEEDSKATING between the CONTROLLERS and the CONTROLLED will continue to push against each other in such a way as to keep the system locked in place.

6. "It's just not worth it." For those of us who've tried to change USS, you find that the American speedskating culture is full of small-minded, miserable people, who are fighting over what amounts to bread crumbs.

After a while, you start to feel self-conscious of your own righteous anger, because on the whole, people just don't get it or don't want to see what's wrong. "Maybe if we ignore it, it will go away."

I hope that USSPEEDSKATING's decisions continue to be the joke of team locker rooms around the world. As for me, I'll be going snowboarding this weekend because I don't hate life enough to waste another hundredth of a second in the foul and choking atmosphere of USSPEEDSKATING.