If I were a USS Board Member...

If I were a member of the USSPEEDSKATING Board of Directors, I would make it my goal to raise funds for my own nonprofit organization, just as Boards of other nonprofit organizations do. I would set as my goal the amount of money it would take to:

1. Provide each World Cup competitor in both Short Track and Long Track speedskating a living stipend of $1000 a month, and

2. Raise enough money to send a team of Junior B and C skaters to the Viking Race in Holland each year.

If I were one of those Board members who had an Olympic medal or two to my name, I would use my name and my influence to help the organization raise these funds. In fact, If I failed to do this, then I would no longer consider myself worthy of using my position on the Board in order to perpetuate my own past glory. Come on! Even the figure skating federation, which makes a lot of money selling TV rights to their events, holds fund raisers to send their developmental athletes overseas for competitions. I've NEVER seen the USS Board put together ANY KIND of fund raiser for their teams, and all they ever do is bitch and moan about not having any sponsors -- not to mention complaining about all the people like me who are "destroying the image of the sport" and preventing them from getting sponsors!

If I were a former Olympic medalist who was on the USS Board, I would realize that the REASON WHY hometowns no longer hold bake sales for their Olympic hopefuls is due to the perception that America's amateur athletes are "all set;" a perception that is promoted every time one of those athletes appears in public wearing the logo of a very large and successful company (while getting next to nothing for it), or every time some article appears in the newspapers about the latest high-tech sports science technology (which is either not available to all athletes or is used by coaches who don't know how to take full advantage of it).

I would also realize that if I promote the attitude that "If we support our athletes, then they'll only go out and buy video games and stereo systems," then THE ONLY ATHLETES WE'LL HAVE LEFT ARE THE ONES WHOSE MOMMIES AND DADDIES ARE WILLING TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING. And that is exactly what will happen when all your self-supported talent burns out and fades away.

I would realize that I am not put into that position of authority only to create and enforce rules, but also to do my best to help the athletes succeed...

...And then I wake up and come to the conclusion that this sport does not belong to people like me.

It's been a year now; my fact-finding mission at the Utah Olympic Oval is over. For the first time this morning, I woke up more than happy to come in to the lab and go to work, surrounded by people who are truly ethical and competent. And as I spread E. coli on 100 Petri dishes, I listened to a few of my favorite songs from the Offspring's Ixnay on the Hombre, and contemplated my experiences in the most un-American organization I've ever had the misfortune of dealing with...

"Nothing changes, 'cause it's all the same
The world you get's the one you give away.
It all just happens again way down the line."

(Derek Parra, you're just another Andy Gabel.)


"Now when the day is set they'll line up all the same,
And those that need the most will never get or gain.
The ones you call your friends
Are failing you again.
Reach into your bag of tricks and make it go away...

You're in it for yourself, no one else.
You're ready, saving yourself,
You're going to change the world

And since you ain't what you say,
Then just go away."

Why WHIP will fail:

1. WHIP (the U.S.O.C. and USA Rollersports-funded "Wheels on Ice Program") thinks they're going to "find the next Chad Hedrick." What are the real odds of this? At the time Chad switched from inline to ice speedskating, he had won something like 25 world titles in inline. WHIP has thus far not been able to attract inliners of this caliber. Second of all, Chad had played ice hockey as a kid, so unlike pretty much all the other inliners, Chad already knew the feel of a blade on ice.

2. WHIP will fail in the short term because it is unlikely that their skaters will have time to get ready to be medal contenders by 2010. As an example: Jessica Smith is a world championship podium-level inline skater, and it is taking her some time to climb the rankings in ice speedskating.

3. WHIP will fail as a long-term plan because it actually is a band-aid solution that is supposed to take the place of a long-term plan to save speedskating in America. In reality, it is nothing more than an excuse to allow the destruction of ice speedskating infrastructure to continue along its current path.

4. WHIP will fail because it IS NOT IN FACT THE BEST WAY to choose the best possible medal contenders for the Vancouver Olympics. How likely is WHIP to produce a 3K skater who will go 4:05, as ice skater Maggie Crowley did in her very first World Cup performance last year at age 19? How likely is WHIP to produce a 1000-meter skater who will go 1:17, like ice skater Nancy Swider-Peltz Jr. did last year, at age 18, without even training specifically for that event?


Four years ago, I was a talented ice speedskater with a great deal of potential who was rejected by USSPEEDSKATING. I will not stand here and watch the same thing happen to others. Do you know what an awesome feeling it is for me to be able to take all of the U.S. Team clothing I've earned over the years and shove it into a box way back in my storage closet, all the while being 100% confident in the knowledge that it is not in USSPEEDSKATING's or the U.S.O.C.'s best interest to have mistreated an athlete like me, and to feel sorry that during my competitive career I never had the PRIVILEGE of working with someone of the caliber of those top international coaches and program directors who had said they would LOVE TO work with an athlete like me?

Peter Mueller, whose last words to the USS administration years ago (before he left to seek employment elsewhere) were, "Go fuck yourselves," said it was a shame that I quit speedskating just as I was starting to get good. Well, too bad! I can't afford to do this any more. When I skated a 16th-place time in the 1000 meters at the 2005 World Cup final, on ice conditions that were disadvantaged compared to the rest of the Top 20, I came home to a monthly stipend of $140 a month. Now, Derek Parra is telling me that "inline skaters are the future..." and implying that ALL THEY NEED IN ORDER TO PROVE THEY'RE BETTER THAN ME IS MORE THAN THREE TIMES THE SUPPORT I EVER GOT.

Derek, if I went to the Home Depot, I'm reasonably sure I could trust you to explain the relative advantages and disadvantages of laminate, hardwood, and bamboo flooring, but you have FAILED to explain to me why inline skaters are CATEGORICALLY BETTER than ice speedskaters. Perhaps you'd like to ask Chris Witty, Casey Fitzrandolph, Kip Carpenter, Shani Davis, and Tucker Fredericks about their experiences on wheels? Perhaps you'd like to go up to athletes like Paul Dyrud, Mike Blumel, Tyler Goff, Maria Lamb, and Matt Plummer and tell them what you told me to my face: That it's too bad that this sport has passed them by, because inliners are the future.

This whole situation reeks.

The Protocol's Most Hated:

Here's an interesting lesson in the history of sports politics, for anyone who'd like to see where some of the attitudes of the American sports system originated. Do a Google search on the name Avery Brundage, and go to the Wikipedia entry that comes up at the top of the list.

Aside from the obvious anti-semitism and other racist attitudes, pay special attention to the acceptance of so-called "shamateurism," and the problems that this created for America's Olympians.

Betcha didn't know, betcha didn't know!

..and now for the finest in camcorder entertainment from the recesses of my mind, complete with captions for the imagination-impaired...

The year is 1983, some roller rink in Kokomo, Indiana. It's dark, with colorful lights and a disco ball; the sound system is blasting the theme to Star Wars.

This is Eva, age 6. She spends all her money on video games and always gets into fights with the little boys at the rink....

After about an hour, they stopped the public skate and the DJ asked, "Who wants to race?" So they put me out on the starting line with a couple other little kids and I beat them.

Gotcha now, U.S.O.C.! The first race I ever won was on wheels.

(Whoop, whoop, garble, garble...the VCR eats the tape....)

Eva, you dumbass. Your mom put ice skates on you when you were 2 years old.

Crap!

Analysis of the U.S.O.C: Goals, decisions, funding, programs, and athlete support

The U.S.O.C.'s stated goals are to get American athletes to win Olympic medals and to promote the sports they oversee.

What does the U.S.O.C. sell to sponsors? They sell the right for a sponsoring company to associate itself with the Olympic movement, and access to the 5-ring logo. How expensive is this? For example: when General Mills wanted Joey Cheek to appear on the Wheaties box, they opted not to use the word "Olympic" or the Olympic rings anywhere on the box, because that would have cost them some exorbitant sum of money. If you ever get a chance, take a look at the Joey Cheek Wheaties box and try to find the words, "Olympic champion." They aren't there. It says something like, he "won the biggest event of them all."

What do sponsoring companies and the U.S.O.C. count on? They are counting on the warm and fuzzy public perception that American Olympic hopefuls are supported. This public perception includes the idea that the U.S.O.C. provides housing and/or sufficient funding, as well as cutting-edge sports science and coaching for National Team-level athletes in all Olympic sports, and oversees fair selection of Olympic teams, leading to the best possible medal chances.

Who provides the results (Olympic medals)? History has shown again and again that most American Olympic champions are those talented athletes who have the means of support necessary to get the training they need FROM PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING, and usually by AVOIDING the American sports system as much as possible, because it is riddled with nepotism and dwindling sports science knowledge among National Team coaches. For example: Look at all the speedskating champions who have chosen to train in Europe, or in Canada, or with the FAST Program, even if it costs them more money.

What is the REALITY of athlete support? For a thorough answer on this, you'll have to search through this blog! In short: U.S.O.C. support is both SCARCE and UNFAIRLY DISTRIBUTED.

Where does U.S.O.C. sponsor money really go? It would take an investigation to find out for sure, but I can tell you from experience that not much trickles down to the athletes.

Why does it matter? It matters because the perception of support makes it harder for athletes with potential to find the help they need from outside sources, while the reason why they need outside help is because of the lack of support from the U.S.O.C.

What does the U.S.O.C. want from programs like Wheels on Ice? The U.S.O.C. does not know what to do with a corrupt sports federation like USSPEEDSKATING, especially now that this federation has fallen to such a sorry state. Rather than go in and try to fix what's wrong with USSPEEDSKATING or force USS to clean up its act, the U.S.O.C. wants a "quick and dirty fix," hoping that the inliners will cross over to ice, start winning right away, and that "MEDALS WILL SHUT EVERYONE UP."

In evaluating the U.S.O.C., I'm trying to look at the options available to an ice speedskater who would want to consider training and competing seriously at this time. I want to figure out the attitudes of the leadership, and how these people handle problems. I'm pretty discouraged with what I've learned so far.

Looking back on my competitive career, I know I failed to achieve my goals in speedskating, but one of the things that keeps me sane is seeing it all as an adventure instead of a fairy tale. The dream of standing on the podium and winning an Olympic gold medal was always something I needed to keep in mind, otherwise I would not have been able to take the risks I did, or to push myself as hard as I did in training. If I did not have that dream to follow, then I would have missed out on a great adventure. In the end, I'm not sorry I chose to pursue speedskating.

Now, it seems, the dream is gone. If I were to look at the possibility of coming back to try again, I see that there is not much to look forward to, even if I would somehow be able to win an Olympic gold medal. When I think of standing on that podium, I realize that the only feeling I have left towards the U.S.O.C. is defiance and a sense of betrayal. I wouldn't want to devote all my energy towards standing on that podium, representing them.

Anger has been a powerful motivator for me, but I have found that it is not enough. If you are angry and alone, then you try to fight as best you can, but it is an ugly fight. How can I describe it? I think one person who might be able to relate is a senator I saw speaking on TV after President Bush's State of the Union address. He said he disagreed with the Bush administration on the war in Iraq, but was sending his son there, anyway. He said that as a soldier, you want to serve your country, but you would prefer to believe that your leaders have made wise decisions and have your welfare in mind. The U.S.O.C.'s decisions have proven to me that they do not have their athletes' best interests in mind.

"Disown the Podium"

Brilliant sarcasm; unfortunately, not mine. One of my friends suggested we refer to USSPEEDSKATING's plan for the current Olympic cycle as, "Disown the Podium." How true.

Since when did starting on ice blades equal dead weight? Just because someone chose to be an ice skater instead of an inline skater should not automatically relegate that person to the ranks of "no-talent hack."

Does the U.S.O.C. really need an explicit definition of the words, "dead weight?" Yes, we have had dead weight in ice speedskating. We'd had a textbook case of dead weight dragging the women's team down for about 14 years leading up to Torino. Dead weight is the kind of person who wakes up one fine Olympic morning to realize that no matter how good a "traveling companion" or "dinner conversationalist" she has been to some former authority figure, the last lap of the 1500 meters is still going to hurt like hell, so why not avoid it entirely?

But does this mean that the legacy of this unfortunate relationship will live on, not only having affected those of us who tried to work around it at the time it was going on, but also to affect the next generation of young skaters, who will now be the collateral damage of the U.S.O.C.'s decision that ALL skaters who started on ice blades are worthless dead weight?

The fact of the matter is that USSPEEDSKATING has destroyed its own infrastructure for development. When they engulfed the Amateur Skating Union, they obviously had no intention of supporting the clubs, as the ASU had. Still, take a look at just about any USS press release and it will include something about USS being "the governing body responsible for producing champions AND for grassroots development." Can you believe that? To me, that's just another example of USSPEEDSKATING's Orwellian doublespeak, falling into the same category as "neglect equals support, favoritism equals objectivity, and connections equal qualifications."

For years, ice speedskaters have faced down and often triumphed over the misfortune of having to navigate a sport with no infrastructure. Should those ice skaters who are still in contention be punished for this?

Throughout my years of speedskating competition, I learned just how far off USSPEEDSKATING is from the ideal American sports federation I'd hoped it would be. Now, I'm starting to figure out why. One of the main reasons seems to be that the "Powers that Be" have such a need to maintain the image that they do EVERYTHING for the athletes, and that the reason why American speedskaters win is BECAUSE OF all those middle-aged male authority figures who strut around wearing the Team USA parkas, that there is a reluctance to seek out enough financial support for the athletes because there is a reluctance to ADMIT that USS needs it!

But don't worry. Even if things look grim right now, and even if this country's best ice speedskaters are disowned, for some reason, when it comes to the Olympics, "American speedskaters always rise to the occasion."

Right?

Awakening:

Every avenue has been searched and has been met with a refusal by USSPEEDSKATING to clean up its act. What you have here is a sports organization that has effectively cannibalized itself. What you have here is a constituency that has been deeply wounded and continues to be betrayed by the leadership. What you have here is a leadership that turns its head to the side and refuses to look at the reeking pile of shit that they have created.

At this point, I see that there are three steps that USSPEEDSKATING must take if it is to survive:

1. Admit your mistakes.

2. Make amends for the past: Clean up what has been dirtied. Stitch together what you have ripped to shreds. Remove the sticky quicksand of the past and wipe your feet, or everything you try to do from now on will be contaminated.

3. Learn from your mistakes, and write up a new set of ethical guidelines AND BE CLEAR ABOUT HOW THESE RULES WILL BE ENFORCED. You must make your board members and employees accountable for their actions. It doesn't mean anything if you have a code of conduct that is not enforceable. If it cannot be enforced, then it does not work.

Justice and freedom must prevail for the skater. The performance, talent, and potential of the athlete are essential to our sport and must be raised above petty favoritism, moral depravity, and the maintenance of a delusional image of those in power. The stubborn attitude of the present leadership of USSPEEDSKATING must be overcome, or else this sport will surely become extinct.

The form of bullshit which I describe is not unique to the sport of speedskating. It can be found in any organization. The question you must ask yourself is, "What kind of organization do we want to be?"

"WHIP" It!!!

Get your American speedskating news here first. Today, I'll be sharing the latest news on something I'll call the "What Happens In Private" program. To the members and fans of USSPEEDSKATING, these are some of the decisions that have been happening behind your backs:



Dear Skaters and Parents,

I am sure that all of you are anxious for the Holidays and time is scarce lately so I will be as concise as I can with this letter. Also included is an article that will come out in the next addition of Ice Chips, and USS publication.

On December 11th and 12th representatives from USARS, US Speedskating and the USOC sat down to discus in detail the eligibility and guidelines for the Wheels on Ice Program. (WhIP) It was decided that the program and a majority of it's budget in this first year would focus on the elite skaters that are of age and willing to relocate to Salt Lake City,Utah for a centralized training program. Their support would include coaching and ice time(inline floor time also included), Periodic performance testing, apparel, equipment, nutritional information,required competition support and a monthly stipend. The top candidates have been contacted and I am awaiting their response. I am looking for skaters who commit to the program to come out to Salt Lake some time in early 2007. I am making arrangements for their arrival.

You are probably thinking, "where does that leave me?" Allow me to answer that. Due to certain circumstances,mostly age for a majority of you, you were not chosen to be in the inaugural group. But please do not let this discourage you in any way. All of you are still in the pipeline coming this way. You are still on the radar screen so to speak. I want to continue to stay in contact with you as you continue to grow and mature as a skater and a person. The program is an eighteen month program. Some of you may be in the next wave of athletes. As it stands now, this will be a residency program. In the future, you must be willing to relocate here to be in the program unless there are special circumstances that surround you. Until you reach that age and or point in your skating career, I want to remain in touch and assist in any way that I can. I have reserved funds for training clinics in the future as a way to stay in contact with you and monitor your progress. Some of the clinics will be open clinics here in Utah and others I may come to you or your part of the country. I want to be a source of information for those of you that wish to continue to explore the ice transition. Even as I write this to you I am working on hosting a clinic here in Salt Lake City around the first week of February. I am thinking about having skaters fly in on the 1st with some type of information meeting that night and have the clinic begin on the 2nd and run through the weekend. You may leave on Monday the 5th if you wish, but I would like to have the clinic and my services available through the 6th with skaters leaving on the 7th. This is all tentative at the moment, but I do not want any of you to fall through the cracks of this program. I hope that you can find the time to participate.

Those of you who are already on the ice, I congratulate you and please continue to make those steps. Those of you who have not made the attempt, I encourage you to do so. Now is the time to get familiar with the ice. You are all young and the earlier you get started the more dangerous you will become to the rest of the world. I wish I was your age when I started on the ice. I will assist in any way I can. If you have any questions please contact me by phone or e mail. I want to remain in communication with you in the future.
Happy Holidays.
Sincerely,

Derek Parra
US Speedskating
Inline Transition Manager
Office 801-417-5376
Cell 321-695-8464
DDPARRA@AOL.COM
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WHIP PROGRAM GETS IT’S WHEELS ROLLING

Update from Derek Parra – Inline Transition Manager



It is an exciting time for our sport. We have had incredible success over the past two Winter Olympic Games from multiple athletes. The sport of Speedskating is not quite a household name yet, but with names of the past like Heiden, Blair and Jansen still popping up around the water cooler and stories of Joey Cheek, Apolo Onho, Shani Davis and Chad Hedrick still floating around in the wake of the Torino games, it shows this sport and it’s representatives have had an incredible impact on our country and the world.



Now, I will be the first to admit that I was not extremely optimistic about the immediate future of sport when the retirement of so many of our top athletes was confirmed this summer. The athletes of our sport have always had a history of rising to the occasion every four years. Believe me, I know, I have seen it and I have also been a part of that movement. But for a short time I believed that there was a huge gap between our skaters at the top and the ones coming up. This Fall I was excited to see as the post Olympic season began some of our younger skaters have already started climbing the national and international ranks of the skating world and fortunately we still have a few top athletes sticking around for more shots at Olympic glory. The future looks bright.



On November 1, 2006, I believe the future of our sport got a lot brighter. I was hired as the Inline Transition Manager heading up the WHIP Program (Wheels on Ice Program) for US Speedskating. An innovative new program conceived by the USOC that partners US Speedskating with USA Roller Sports in an effort to identify talented athletes on wheels and assist in their interest to cross over to the ice as well as encourage current ice skaters to explore the possibilities of inline cross training and racing.



With a budget approved, I sat down together with members of all three organizations in Salt Lake City and developed a plan of action. It was determined that the program would consist of a maximum of 10 athletes. These athletes must be of elite caliber and in good standing with their NGB. If willing to commit to the 18 month transition program, the athletes would be required to participate in a minimum number of USS competitions (both short and long track) as well as continue to participate and excel in USARS events. In return, those skaters would receive support that consists of a monthly stipend, coaching, ice time, periodic performance testing, ice equipment (blades, etc.), team apparel, nutritional education and travel support to required competitions. By the end of the meetings, athletes were identified, contacted and given a verbal invitation to the program.



At this moment I am waiting for responses from those selected athletes and making plans for their arrival. As I said previously, I am optimistic and excited about the future of speed skating and I am extremely pleased to see USS and USARS working together for the betterment of both sports and more importantly, the betterment of the skaters.



Derek Parra

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Now allow me to cut away the bullshit and translate this incomprehensible babble. What they are saying is this: "Those of you faithful club volunteers, Category One development skaters who have already shown proven results, and those of you skaters and parents who have already moved across the country to train specifically for ice speedskating have already proven your dedication to the sport and your willingness to make unreasonable sacrifices and will continue to do whatever it takes to win, until you've collapsed like our good old American folk hero John Henry, who died in his attempt to race a steam shovel with the power of his own muscles. THEREFORE, let us focus our resources instead on those athletes who need to be bribed in order to even try our sport which we "realize" is stuffy and boring and somehow manages to be weird at the same time, and is run by a bunch of incompetent thugs."