A Summary of My Experiences in USSPEEDSKATING:

This is for all the new internet fans that the sport of speedskating has been getting since the 2006 Olympics, and also for anyone who is unfamiliar with the whole story of my speedskating career. I've decided to summarize the most important stories and post them here as a resource for you, so you don't have to dig through all those other posts I've randomly made over the past year and a half.

This is the story of the kind of speedskating career that should NEVER be allowed to happen TO ANY KID, EVER AGAIN. This is my story of how I tried as hard as I could to compete for the USA in speedskating in a federation that tried as hard as it could to get me to fail, to quit, and just to go away. Also important in the context of this story is the fact that my parents did not approve of my speedskating, and that, like many other American amateur athletes, I never had enough money to ensure a sustainable existence in my sport. This, along with the unpleasantness that resulted from my fights with USSPEEDSKATING, was the main reason why I had to retire after the 2006 Olympic Trials.

If you look at the performance of the American women's speedskating team in Torino, you will wonder what it was that the old leadership of USSPEEDSKATING felt was worth protecting from competition within the country. You will wonder why they tried to manipulate a pure sport and give unfair advantages to their favorites. You will wonder why they told the whole world that metric speedskating was "all about the clock," and then when it came to dealing with their own athletes, they forgot that the word "clock" has the letter "L" in it.

Now those bastards have all been fired, and I'm proud as hell of any role I might have played in that "Great Purge!" But anyway, here are the main points of my story.

Let me begin with a list of my best accomplishments in the sport:

-B Group Champion, World Cup Final, 1000 meters, Feb. 2005 (the time was 16th overall, A-group and B-Group combined.)

-World's Best Women's 10K skater, 2003-04 season.

-American Record, Women's 10K, 2005 (held for one week!)

-U.S. Single Distance Champion: 3000 meters, in 2001, 1500 meters, in 2002.

-World Cup Points Scorer in every distance from 500 to 5000 meters.

-Alberto Nicolodi Trophy, Allround Champion, Feb. 2004.

(As you can see, though I may not have been a star, I didn't exactly suck, either!)


By the end of the 2004-2005 season, I had managed to collect the opinions of several world class coaches on my real potential in this sport: A Russian national team coach, scientist, and program director, who had been involved with their program for decades and had produced several World Champions and Olympic Champions, said I was "great raw material with the right sort of competitive drive." A Norwegian national team coach said that if I were one of his skaters, he'd make me "fucking win." And a Dutch professional team coach went on about the great results I could achieve the following season, "if only USSPEEDSKATING stays out of her way..."



1. I started speedskating at age 11, in 1988, with the West Michigan Speedskating Club.

2. At age 15, National Team coach Mike Crowe picked me out as "a talented skater" and invited me to train with the team. My mom said I was too young and couldn't go. Later on in my career, Crowe would turn against me as I took a different path through the sport and had success with other coaches.

3. In 1994, I moved to Salt Lake City with a USS coach, who abandoned my team after only one month of training. I was alone in a strange city, finishing my senior year of high school and living with a host family. That year, I wrote a letter to USS, telling them what had happened. As a result, they branded me a "No-talent troublemaker." I quit speedskating and pursued my education.

4. In December of 1997, figuring I'd spent enough time away from speedskating and that people had forgotten who I was, I decided to skate some time trials in Milwaukee. The people running the races recognized my name as "the troublemaker," and kicked me off after one 500-meter race on a selectively enforced technicality. After that one race, I had to drive 300 miles back to Detroit, where I was living at the time. It was then that I knew I'd truly been blackballed within the sport. In all, I ended up spending 6 years away, between the ages of 18 and 24. For an athlete, these are prime years of training and competition, and they'd just been thrown away.

5. In January of 2001, I took a leave of absence from the Ph.D. program I was doing, and made a comeback to speedskating, joining the Utah Olympic Oval's FAST Program. By October, I had made my first World Cup team.

6. I missed making the 2002 Olympic Team by 0.26 in the 3000 meters.

7. I was invited to train with the National Team and decided to take a spot on that team in the 2003-04 season, mostly because of financial advantages. While training with that team, I got overtrained and had the worst season of my career. At the end of the season, our coach, Tom Cushman, informed us that he had seen half of our team falling off the edge of overtraining but DECIDED TO CONTINUE PUSHING US IN THE INTEREST OF COLLECTING DATA ON OVERTRAINING. He said he was not concerned at all with our individual race results.

8. From that point on, I was determined to NEVER AGAIN train with a USSPEEDSKATING program. I began to work with a local Salt Lake City coach, Boris Leikin, and had my most successful season ever with him.

9. I started posting on The Protocol in November of 2004. By January of 2005, I was pissing people off, and even earned myself a phone call from the USS President.

10. After qualifying for one of my many World Cup Team spots, I was wrongfully kicked out of a catered dinner that was paid for by the USOC. This wasn't a one-time event I'm talking about. No, I'm talking about 3-4 nice meals per week, brought into the Oval in front of everyone, throughout the entire training and competition season, paid for by the USOC, who intended these meals to be for all skaters who had qualified to represent the USA in international competition. However, USSPEEDSKATING decided that the only people who got to eat this food would be those who chose to train with THEIR teams. If I had wanted to pursue it, I could have sued USSPEEDSKATING for denying this to me, but I didn't have the time or effort to waste.

11. Along with the other speedskaters on the team, I was subjected to then-President Andy Gabel's backdoor sponsorship deal with Qwest and became a "walking billboard" for this sponsor without getting any benefit from it.

12. I trained with Boris's team through the summer of 2005, and qualified for the Fall World Cups. Two weeks before the competitions began, I had a back injury, and was denied access to a USSPEEDSKATING trainer because I trained with a different coach and program. It didn't even matter that I was wearing all of the USS sponsor logos in competition. One of the last things former Program Director Mike Crowe did before he got the axe was to argue that it was absolutely right of USS to do this to me.

13. I missed making the 2006 Olympic Team by 0.08 in the 1000 meters but was next in line to be added to the team and could have been an alternate for at least 3 events. But even though USS had two more women's spots to give out, I retired from competition IMMEDIATELY following my last race at the Olympic Trials, BECAUSE I REFUSED TO SUBJECT MYSELF TO POLITICALLY CORRUPT DECISIONS, which I knew would happen. I forced my speedskating career to end ON THE ICE, NOT IN SOME FREAKING BOARDROOM!!!

In fact, I was right. USS added two men, but FAILED to add two women, and as a result, they did not have enough women to skate the 1500 meters at the Olympics in Torino.

14. At the USS Spring Board Meeting in April 2006, Gabel stepped down as President. Soon after, Marquard resigned as Executive Director, Crowe was fired from his position as Program Director, Cushman lost his job as National Allround Coach, and several other staff members were fired or resigned. This series of events is what I call "The Great Purge."

I believe that speedskating sites on the internet, such as the Yahoo Skatelist and athlete blogs, played a major role in the shakeup in USSPEEDSKATING. This shakeup has been long overdue, but it hasn't happened until now. I believe the internet sites forced certain issues that USS tried to cover up out into the open, and forced the corrupt former leaders of the federation to be accountable for their actions.

The one thing I'd like to say to the parents of skaters who have just reached or are close to reaching the elite level in this sport is that the USSPEEDSKATING system that has fallen apart since the end of the 2006 Olympic season IS NOT the sports system that you expected when you and your child began your journey through the sport of speedskating. However, even though things will not be easy for you in the near future, you now have the opportunity to help set up the kind of speedskating training and development system that you want and deserve.

I hope no kid ever has to have the kind of speedskating career that I did. I hope the new administration of USS will have more integrity and will be better for the athletes. Now, I'm going to get on with my life.

The Other Side of Several Stories:

Last night, I met with Ryan Shimabukuro to discuss some of the controversial issues I covered on this blog. I was so pleased that Ryan was willing to do this, and also that he still considered me a friend no matter what happened or what was said during the past season.

I learned a lot from my conversation with Ryan, not only about his own point of view, but also about USSPEEDSKATING's position on several of the stories I told on The Protocol. After hearing what Ryan had to say, I realized that maybe I should have given "the other side" a chance to tell their story.

The reason why I'm posting this is because the truth is important to me. In controversial stories such as the ones I told on The Protocol, especially the ones involving some instances of an athlete being screwed over by the federation, there is a shade of gray. Not everything is clearly black or white. Therefore, having the opportunity to hear both sides of a conflict can bring us all closer to the truth.

Just as in science, it is important for a researcher to retract data that has been proven wrong, it is important for me to let people know when I have failed to consider the source of my information or to tell both sides of a story. The only way I can inspire positive change in the sport of speedskating is by making every attempt to be a trustworthy source of information, and to make sure that if I am being critical of the organization, then my criticism is based on the truth.

As far as my own stories of my own experiences of being mistreated by USSPEEDSKATING, I stand by them 100%. These are any stories I've told of things that happened to me, things I saw with my own eyes or heard with my own ears. Stories shared with me by others, on the other hand, are stories of one person's word or perception against another's, and then my own interpretation of the events that transpired comes in on top of that, to become a post on The Protocol.

I must admit that I almost always jumped to take the "anti-USS" position on any story, because it totally seemed to fit with my own experiences with the federation. But in all fairness, let me now present The Other Side, and let you, the reader, decide what you think is right.


1. The main issue Ryan and I talked about is when I posted about the Olympic Trials, saying he was "holding the lap board for me, and then a few hours later, was fighting against me in the draw." I got this information from a skater's parent who was at the draw and told me that "Ryan was one of the USS coaches fighting for the top 4 women to be in their own separate grouping for the draw," and to keep me and Erin Porter down in the next group.

From my perspective, I knew that I could have a good race no matter whom I was paired with, but it just disturbed me, because from that parent's story, it sounded like Ryan was trying to artificially separate the top 4 women out and put me at a disadvantage.

But there were a few things that I did not know at the time. One of these things is that on the men's side, Ryan also had a couple of guys who were just out of the top grouping, and he was still trying to keep the top 4 guys separate from the next group down. His rationale for wanting to maintain these groupings was to keep people of the same speed together so that no pair would have trouble crossing over and running into each other on the backstretch. It makes sense to me now.

Still, I felt that one of the races of one of the Top 4 women's pairs was called back for no good reason, after one of the women stumbled, but there was no false start on the pair. I feel certain that if anyone other than another one of The Chosen had been that skater's pair, then that person's coach would have noticed that the pair had been called back for no good reason. Ryan says he fought for the Top 4 women based entirely on time, and not based on the names of the skaters. I do believe him, and whatever happened at the start of that particular race had nothing to do with his involvement.

2. I thought it was not fair that two men were added to the Olympic Team to skate the pursuit, while USSPEEDSKATING did not add two women. The reason for adding two men and not two women is that there were not enough men among those who had qualified in individual distances who WANTED to skate the team pursuit, while there were plenty of women who were ALREADY QUALIFIED for the Olympic Team who had agreed to skate the team pursuit.

However, even though USSPEEDSKATING has used this as an excuse for not taking more women to the Games, I still think that this was the wrong decision for them to make. I think the main problem with the way the Olympics played out for the U.S. women's team is that USSPEEDSKATING underestimated the severity of the injuries of two of their competitors, and they also underestimated the additional toll, both physical and mental, that the team pursuit event would take on the athletes during the Olympic Games. Skating several rounds of a 6-lap race is not insignificant, and I'm not surprised that some of the athletes might be reluctant to race too much more after that kind of effort.

Still, in my own skating career, I've raced a 1500 and a 3000 on a sprained ankle and a 10K with full-blown bronchitis and a temperature of 101, so I feel I've earned the right to criticize Amy Sannes for not stepping up to race the Olympic 1500 meters. People who were there said, "Well, we couldn't hold a gun to her head and make her skate." No, really, they should have. They should have thought of me and Nancy Swider-Peltz Jr. sitting at home, and they should have pointed a gun at Sannes and said, "Get the fuck out there, you worthless and ungrateful piece of shit."

I did not believe that Amy Sannes was a good choice for the team pursuit, anyway, but Ryan said it wasn't Mike Crowe who pushed this decision through at all, while I was sure it had been Crowe. I still think I have good reasons for believing Sannes was not a good choice for this event: She skates her 1500's by getting up to top speed but dying in the last lap, she can't skate a 3K at all (compared to Canada's Shannon Rempel, who, despite being a sprinter, can go under 4:20 in the 3K on any given day), and most importantly of all, Sannes IS NOT A TEAM PLAYER and has complained repeatedly about skating behind at least a few of the women who were in contention for skating the team pursuit last season.

Ryan insists that Sannes proved, in competition, that she was not a weak link on the team. But I'm not sure -- after the pursuit race at the Torino World Cup, Maggie was saying that she still had a lot of energy left, but Amy was pretty much spent.

3. There was a story I told about a junior boy who supposedly got left off the list for being added onto the National Team last year, because he had too much going on with school. This was a story told to me by the boy's mother, who had heard from the boy's coach that USS had been considering inviting him to the team, but decided not to, for that reason.

In fact, the boy in question was not even in consideration for a National Team spot. There was another skater who WAS in consideration for one of these spots, but in a tough decision, was denied. I should have considered the source of the information on this one. (the coach, I mean, not the parent.)

4. There was a story of a junior girl who was denied funding on a junior competition trip because she only wanted to attend one of the race weekends, not both, causing her to miss too much school in between. USS's position on this is that juniors have to either commit to ALL of the trips, or they get no funding at all. Maybe this is not an optimal situation, but that was the rule at the time. If this rule is found to be generally unacceptable, then the people who are affected by it will have to try to pressure USS into changing the rule.

5. During the Olympics, I briefly mentioned the disorganization of USS staff leading to the failure of the pursuit teams. This came from a story from a parent of a skater who said that after the women's team failed to qualify for a medal round, the coach and program director told them not to bother to show up for their consolation round.

USS's position on this is that they INSISTED that both the men's and women's pursuit teams show up for their consolation races because, "This is the Olympic Games!!!" In this case, it's obviously one side's word against the other's.

6. I also talked about the failure of USS to fill all of its spots in the women's Olympic 1500 meters. Chris Witty and her coach, Bart Schouten, insist that they gave USS plenty of time to know that Chris was not going to skate the 1500, enabling them to fill that spot with another skater. Bart insists that Chris's hip was severely injured and that she was physically unable to skate that race.

USS says that Bart and Chris waited until the last minute to inform USS that Chris was not going to skate the 1500, which didn't give any other woman the chance to prepare for the race. Ryan said that Maggie said she didn't want to skate it for sure, and that Amy said she'd only do it if she had a day's notice.

I found out soon after that Maggie was injured, and was righteously pissed that Amy simply didn't want to skate that event. I felt at the time that Crowe had protected her spot on the team pursuit by failing to add women to the team, and that this was the only reason why we didn't have an alternate for the 1500 meters. I felt that Amy owed it to us to go out there and show the world the 2:12 she was probably going to skate. (What, did she think that if she'd had a day to prepare, she'd have been on the podium? No way! If she'd had a day to prepare, she might have pulled out a 2:09 instead of a 2:12.)

7. At the USS Spring Board Meeting, it was not Mike Crowe but Bill Cushman who said the USOC should give USSPEEDSKATING more money. Ryan says that Cushman is not aware of how much help the USOC gives, but that Crowe is. The fact that this was said by Cushman and not Crowe is the only inaccuracy I'd like to remedy in the post about whether the program director deserved his salary. I stand by everything else, including my belief that he in fact did not deserve his salary or his job. Apparently, the new leadership of USS agreed with me.

8. The issue of the athletes who breached the Athlete Agreement also came up, and the usual 2 sides to this story were presented: The federation sees the athletes who breached as selfish sellouts who don't care what happens to the rest of the skaters, while the athletes who breached insist that USS doesn't give them what they want or need. I tend to support the individual sponsorship position because of how badly I've been treated by USSPEEDSKATING throughout my career, because I disagree with how they allocate resources, and because I want to choose my own coach.

But Ryan presented another unusual twist to this story, saying that "the Dutch destroyed USSPEEDSKATING by throwing money at us." By this, he meant that maybe the real reason why the Dutch bank DSB wanted to sponsor some of the individual athletes within USS was an attempt to break USSPEEDSKATING apart. It makes sense to me that USS would think this way, but even in the unlikely case that this were true, I AM NOT SORRY THAT IT HAPPENED.

What I mean to say is that I'm not surprised to hear that USSPEEDSKATING once again believes that the only reason why they have any problems is that someone or some group has a "conspiracy" against them. The previous season, the supposed "conspiracy" involved the Norwegian team stealing American intellectual property, and now USS believes the Dutch banks tried to break their team apart by offering to sponsor the top American skaters. So, does this now mean that DSB is sorry that they supported the top American Olympic medal winners at the expense of the Dutch skaters? They sure don't seem to see it that way. After all, when the 2005-2006 season was done, DSB offered a sponsorship to the American sprinter Kip Carpenter.

Of course, the Dutch conspiracy theory is absurd and is another excuse that USS will use for the falling apart of the federation. I feel bad for the skaters, because they surely will suffer due to the current lack of funding. But when Ryan asked me how I'd feel if USS had suddenly lost funding in the middle of the season and became unable to send me to World Cups, the only thing I realized was how close my attitude had really come to that of a terrorist. I realized that I had nothing to lose, because under the current system of USSPEEDSKATING, I knew there was no way I would ever be able to have the speedskating career I wanted and knew I deserved. And, having reached that point of utter hopelessness, I was so willing to see the federation ripped apart that I was not only willing to contribute to the process of its destruction, but I was also willing to experience the destruction of what was left of my own speedskating career in the process.

9. I talked with Ryan about not being able to tolerate his celebration of Amy Sannes's unexpectedly good 500 meter race at the Olympic Trials. He said that it wasn't anything personal, but that he just appreciates good sport, and that he'd congratulate any athlete or coach on a good performance.

I told him about the progression of my hatred for Amy; how at first she was nothing more than an unfriendly, antisocial and selfish person, but then she officially became "a bitch" when she left me without a ride to a competition by jumping on the last seat of another team's van after we had planned to drive up together. Ryan agreed that after that, I didn't even owe her the common civility of acknowledging her existence.

---

Well, I guess that pretty much covers the misinformation of some of my previous posts. The only concerns I may have are about the actual "truthiness" of some of the things I have written, not about the effect. In fact, I think that those of my posts that have caused people to say, "Hey, that's not how it happened, it happened like THIS!!" turned out to be some of the most useful ones, because they got people to talk about the real issues.

I have no regrets if my words have contributed to the shake-up and the firings that happened in USSPEEDSKATING throughout the past few months. I do believe that Katie Marquard was a poor face for the organization and set up a toxic, clannish, unwelcoming culture for the federation that was not conducive to progress and growth. I do believe that Andy Gabel is untrustworthy, to say the least. I do believe that Tom Cushman is utterly clueless. I do believe that Mike Crowe is an unskilled leader who has demonstrated inconsistencies between his words and his actions. I'm glad these people have lost their positions and will no longer be leading USSPEEDSKATING down the wrong path.

In conclusion, let me try to sum up the main reason why I was so pissed off at USSPEEDSKATING that I was willing to play "suicide bomber" with my speedskating career: I believe that the reason why I was willing to do this is the knowledge that in any speedskating federation other than this one, I would have been treated as a valued member of a strong women's team, instead of treated as an enemy by a system that sets up a sick and backwards environment where spoiled princesses are expected to thrive in a sport that is not suited to the success of spoiled princesses.

One of the things that USSPEEDSKATING needs to figure out is what sort of women's team they want to send to an event where they will face skaters who posess BOTH THE WILL TO WIN AND THE SUPPORT OF THEIR FEDERATION. Are these things really mutually exclusive?

A Cost-Benefit Analysis of Continuing to Post on The Protocol:

I've mentioned that my posting about speedskating politics has been interfering with my ability to concentrate on my work, and that has made me think about whether it's worth it to me to continue. The lab where I'm working is gathering data to publish a paper within a few months, and my project is a major part of this research. So, it seems to me that I can either concentrate on having my name on my first published scientific paper, or I can continue to be the Judas goat for this sport that frustrated the years of my youth.

My friends say I'm a fighter and love a challenge, but because of the way I'd been mistreated by USSPEEDSKATING over the years, trying to speedskate for the USA was not really just a "race against myself."

A race against myself is more like my experience running the marathon last weekend, where the 3:30 pace guy from the Clif Bar Pace Team passed me just after Mile 20, and I told myself that I wouldn't let him out of my sight, no matter how badly my legs were hurting. Fighting the speedskating politics battle, on the other hand, is like sticking both hands into a rotting corpse and smooshing things around: It smells bad, it makes you queasy, and there comes a point where you wonder why you're even doing it.

It's bad enough that the environment at the Utah Olympic Oval has been irreparably damaged for me, and that people there snicker about me behind my back for laying my anger out for all to see. It doesn't matter that I was the first one to tear into a corrupt organization that eventually collapsed. I will always be known as "The Notorious."

Right now, there is nothing for me to gain by continuing to grind the axe. After all, the people who, I believe, were leading USSPEEDSKATING down the wrong path, have all been fired or have resigned. The National Team coach who burned out more athletes than he helped; who admitted to trashing half his team for the purpose of data collection on overtraining; who ruined the Olympic medal chances of Jen Rodriguez; has been fired. The Executive Director, who, I believe, was responsible for setting up the unfriendly and elitist "country club atmosphere" of the sport, has resigned. And the Program Director, Mike Crowe, whose lack of leadership led directly to several specific instances of failure at the 2006 Olympics (covered in an earlier post) and whose favoritism towards one woman on the team clouded his ability to make decisions, was fired.

At the time of this post, the new leaders of USSPEEDSKATING have not come out and informed us in any way of the direction in which they plan to take the federation. We literally have no way of knowing if ANYTHING but the names and the faces of the players has changed at the top. And, although it is possible that my continuing to post my views on The Protocol might help the new administration stay on track, this fight is no longer worth it to me in terms of the disruption to my life.

A Vacation from Sports Politics:

I'm going away tomorrow, for a long weekend, and maybe that will give me some time to figure out what I want my involvement to be in USSPEEDSKATING politics. Thinking about those issues is seriously interfering with my ability to concentrate at work, and I'm kind of getting tired of being attacked by the same people I'm trying to support.

I've had a request to post comments on the USS MySpace site, and maybe after I've taken a break, I can do that, but right now I don't know.

I'll leave you, for now, with the latest hilarious misconception about me. Apparently, I, a subversive "Almost-Olympian" in an obscure European sport, am a sellout who is capitalizing on my success, and is ungrateful to USSPEEDSKATING for all the ways in which they helped me in my development as a speedskater.

And now, since I'm such a sellout, let me get back to my Southern blot DNA analysis and my mouse tissue iron level measurements. Don't get me wrong - if I ever had a chance to sell out, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Paralyzed by Inertia? A short term compromise might help:

Right now, USSPEEDSKATING is facing a crisis. There are so many decisions before the new administration that they seem to be paralyzed and unable to respond, like a deer caught in the headlights. Maybe the thing to do, especially in terms of the athlete agreement, would be to come up with a short term solution; a sort of compromise between the two sides, that would allow USS to move forward with this season.

It might be good to avoid locking people into any long term contracts at this time. That would allow more time for serious issues involving the direction and philosophy of the federation to be hammered out, instead of making quick decisions right now that USS or the athletes might regret later on.

Why do I mention this? Here's a sobering thought: ICE OPENS ON THE UTAH OLYMPIC OVAL IN LESS THAN A MONTH. Please think of the skaters, and let them know what is going on.

A few words on the skinsuit debate:

There is a very intense discussion going on among the skaters right now as to whether the racing skinsuit should be designated personal apparel or competitive equipment. The top athletes (those who can easily find big sponsorship deals) want it designated personal apparel, so they can put their own logos on it, while the up-and-coming skaters want it designated competitive equipment so that it will be provided to them, and so that USS's ability to find sponsors as a federation will not be placed in jeopardy.

Both sides make excellent points, and I hope the discussion will continue.

I really think that right now USSPEEDSKATING, as a federation, needs to step up and show some leadership. If they want the skaters behind them, then they have to show that they have the skaters' best interest in mind. They have to communicate and let people know that changes are being made for the better, and that USSPEEDSKATING is going in a new direction.

If not, then even as a former skater who never made the big breakthrough, I can see why the top skaters would want to be on their own.

Does the lack of communication disturb anyone?

Hey USSPEEDSKATING, what is going on? There are National Team athletes who have no coach and no program. There are internationally competitive short track skaters who feel like they have had no input on the skinsuit decision of the athlete agreement. And now that the June 1st deadline that the USOC put on the new athlete agreement has passed, can you let us know what has happened?

I know you're in a state of upheaval right now, and that some of this information may be of a sensitive nature. But if that is the case, then at least come out and tell us that much! Your own members deserve to know.

This is the problem that arises when there has not been a good history of communicating with the general membership of USSPEEDSKATING.

With each passing day, the silence becomes more deafening. With each passing day of silence, you are showing your lack of concern for your own athletes and for their need to plan their training seasons.

Thumbs Up on the Salt Lake City Marathon:

I'm so glad I ran this race; it was such a great experience. The whole atmosphere was so supportive and celebratory. Spectators lined the course and cheered us on the whole way. It felt like the whole Salt Lake community was involved.

I'm happy with my own results. My time was 3:31.51, a new personal best (it's funny - the last personal best I set was a 10.85 in the 100 meter speedskating...) I placed 20th overall among the women, and 4th in my age group. Yes, it hurt really bad, but not until Mile 20.

There really was a taco stand on State Street, around the 24th mile, and people standing on that corner must have thought I was becoming delirious from the heat, because I couldn't help laughing out loud about it.

I ran into another speedskater along the way -- Ron Macky was running the marathon, too. We passed each other, back and forth, a few times. Wanna know who was faster in the end? I'm not going to tell. You'll have to look it up.

My friend who was so scared of running the 5K ended up spending the weekend in a state of giddy euphoria, having realized that she'd actually enjoyed participating in a competitive athletic event for the first time in 10 years.

Ralph, the bloody blister, came back with a vengeance and exploded all over my shoe. I'm glad I didn't look down until after the race was over.

I really did listen to the Offspring the whole way. I can think of worse ways of spending a Saturday morning than trotting around for 3 and a half hours listening to all my favorite songs.

"Is It Taco Time Yet?"

For several reasons, it's predictable that I'd end up running the Salt Lake City Marathon this year. Since the race is coming up this weekend, I guess I should say a few random words of motivation and de-motivation about it.

1. Personal best time: 3:38, Detroit, 1997.

2. Time goal for Salt Lake City: 3:30

3. Charity: None. I suffer for DNA every day! Besides, wasn't my entire speedskating career one big Kamikaze mission on behalf of the Speedskating Justice League? (Hey, at least it worked!)

4. Injuries: A giant bloody blister named Ralph. He's gone now.

5. How I compare to other runners:

-Not nearly fast enough to make enemies, thank God!!!

-I can't even run one mile at the marathon race pace of the top women registered for this event...

...but if I'm not on pace to beat Oprah, then you should probably call for an ambulance.

6. Chance that the 2006 Salt Lake City Marathon will be more unpleasant than the 2006 Olympic Speedskating Trials: Slim to nonexistent.

7. For those unfamiliar with Salt Lake City's Olympic theme, "Light the Fire Within" does not mean you should eat a taco before your race.

8. The only way that Mexican food could possibly wreck my race: Getting hit by a runaway taco vendor cart on State Street.

9. Top 3 Offspring lines I would NOT sing to Dexter if he were running with me:

- "You're only feeling stronger 'cause your body's getting numb."

-"Burning out, strung along, now my sorrow is my song."

-"The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care."


10. One of my friends, who was inspired to register for the 5K run (her first race in several years) now says she feels "like a one-legged man signed up for an ass-kicking contest."

11. Though I tried to keep my marathon training a secret from my lab coworkers, they found out eventually. Fortunately, they're not exactly offended by their new technician's jock tendencies. In fact, a couple of them have said, "Now that you've cleaned up speedskating politics, will you try again for Vancouver?"

12. Reasons why running the marathon is better than speedskating at the Utah Olympic Oval:

-Being outside in the fresh air, instead of going around in circles like a gerbil in a cage.

-Chances are good you won't run into the kind of person who is afraid of a 2-minute speedskating race.

-Getting lost in a field of 10,000 runners.

-No full spandex clown suit!

-No sign above my head identifying me as the "Evil, Toxic, Subversive Speedskating Terrorist!"

And, the number one best reason why running the marathon is better than speedskating is: I DON'T HAVE TO PUT MY MP3 PLAYER AWAY BEFORE GOING TO THE STARTING LINE!